Daily Archives: March 9, 2017

featured, Holidays

Panic! No, Get Over It!

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I’m sure it was someone’s clever joke to have two opposite holidays celebrated on the same day.  I’ll save you the suspense and deal with them separately.  Choose the holiday that best fits your personality or choose both if your personality is split.  You can celebrate one in the morning and the other in the evening or really mess with people and alternate every hour.  It’s National Panic Day AND National Get Over It Day!  Here are my separate, but equally brilliant suggestions for recognizing these holidays.

National Panic Day!

You should definitely panic if you’re driving to work and find a T-Rex chasing you down in your side view mirror.   You have the rest of your life, no matter how long or short, ahead of you. If you’re reading this safely at your desk, in your bed or wherever, chances are you weren’t chased by a T-Rex this morning, so below are other reasons you should panic, just in case you don’t have enough failures, inequities, disappointments, and deadlines already.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after you get your next oil change.

Panic loudly, panic well!

National Get Over It Day!

If you’re in your car today and you happen to see a T-Rex trotting along dangerously close to your car, Get Over It!  It’s been a great life thus far, hopefully, and you can never outrun this thing.  And, if you’re on I95, I495, I295, I695, Route 32, I395, anywhere in the DMV metro area, Atlanta, GA, I5, I15, or Los Angeles, you’re in too much traffic to floor it.  Don’t die screaming, turn on your favorite song, say a prayer, and sing your heart out.  Below is a list of other things, you should get over because you probably can’t change them anyhow.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after your next oil change.

Do a naked rain dance in your front yard and get over it!

Holiday on my friends!