Find your happy place

It is so beautiful outside and children-655542_640it’s National Picnic Day!  Why wouldn’t you want to celebrate? Unless your picnic table looks like this, you should eat outside today.  Grab a book, some snacks, some friends (even if they’re imaginary), and soak up the sun.  If you hate picnics and have an aversion to eating outside, it’s also Take a Chance Day.  I suggest you embrace the outdoors, take a chance that nothing will attack you, and the ants won’t steal your meat.

As for me, I’m going to get some crab legs and sit in the middle of the park like I own the darn thing.  I’ve got my e-book, notepad, and Zyrtec. Carpe diem!



What’s up, JellyBean?

If you want to eat a pink grapefruit, blood worms, and swallow your snot all in one handful, you’ve come to the right holiday.  It’s National Jelly Bean Day!  And, if I have my cult classic correct, we have Harry Potter to thank for making earwax, rotten eggs, and vomit editable (I use this term loosely).

RRJBAlthough they date back to the 1860’s, I couldn’t find anyone who knew how or why these candies were invented.  However, this little usually fruity snack has made its way from American candy dishes to American culture.  Jelly Beans are used everywhere, from the classroom to baby showers.  It is even listed in the dictionary and apparently, jellybean art is a thing.   Pictured here, is jelly bean fanatic, former President Ronald Reagan.  This portrait hangs proudly in the Reagan National Library and is made of 10,000 jellybeans and polyurethane.  Don’t eat it.

I’m not the jelly bean eating type, never have been, but I do enjoy guessing the number of jellybeans in a jar, putting them in plastic eggs for Easter, and throwing them across the room into other people’s mouths.  You can celebrate today by doing any or all of the above.  You can also play the jellybean board game or use them to teach your kids math, art, and science.  I mean seriously, who knew sugar and dye could do so much?  If you know who or find out who, please let me know.  I’d love to discover a secret patent that proves I should be a millionaire.  Until then, enjoy a stinky sock and …



jellybean – noun 1) A gaudily dressed man; faddish dresser (1919+), 2) A stupid person; fool; sap: The jelly beans I went to school with(1915+), and 3) A novice; rookie (1950s+ Baseball)

Parents Morning Off…

Invented in Germany, so parents could get a break from their kids under the guise of early education, today we celebrate the brainchild of  Friedrich Froebel.  It’s Kindergarten Day! 

If you take a look at my first day of school photos, I watheater_masks_by_imawatchu-d568z9ns really excited standing in front of my house, but if you put that picture next to the picture taken of me in front of the school, they look like a pair of drama masks.   I don’t remember that traumatic day.  What I do remember about Kindercare is a girl named Elizabeth, who was my friend and had very long, dark brown hair.  She was so nice that I’ve like people named Elizabeth ever since (with the exception of the lying snake at my previous job). I also remember my teacher Miss Sandy, who taught me the song, You Light Up My Life,” in sign language and I remember those plastic white cots we used to unstack for nap time. In spite of the drama masks, in the end, all went well, and school, for me, was a lot of fun. Still, if I had the option, I’m sure I’d choose kindergarten over adulting at least three times a week. Therefore…

princess-310230_640Hear ye, Hear ye!  

I  henceforth from this moment until the twenty-third and fifty-ninth hour declare it the day of Kindergarten-ing!  On this day, all adulting is henceforth suspended at will for moments of Kindergarten-ing. Kindergarten-ing shall consist of randomly reciting the alphabet, counting to one-hundred, and singing silly songs til your heart’s content.   Permission is also given to stop, drop, and color whenever such activities are desired to be done.  Should ye feel inclined ye may cut up sheets of paper and make mosaics of your name, practice writing legibly in cursive, and brush up on your puzzle skills.  Click ye here to link to PBSKids where ye shall roam freely reliving the days of your long gone youth.  Should ye be questioned while Kindergarten-ing, direct the fools to this site of the web, that they may understand and leave ye be in peace or join the celebration.  Play well and…





Big Ups!

Cat National-High-Five-Day-Shared between men, women, co-workers, strangers, family, friends, and these guys, Hi 5’s are the universal sign, for “good job,” “fantastic,” “way to go,” and one of the first tricks we teach out pets.  It’s Hi Five Day!  Not to be confused with the ever popular Low-5, the Hi-Five is an upward extension of the arm to an open-face palm that is then slapped by another person’s mirroring gesture.

Who do we have to thank for this universal sign of encouragement?  A BLACK MAN!  Of course, there are a handful of conflicting stories from others who want the credit, but according to my source, this photograph documents the first ever Hi-Five.  Appropriately being given in joy and celebration Glenn Burke, the black man who invented the Hi-Five in 1977, is congratulating his teammate, Dusty Baker, who has just hit his 30th homerun.   Surrounded by controversy in his later years, this openly gay, black, professional athlete, who was compared to Willie Mays was definitely ahead of his time.   I’m sure in addition to his baseball career, he’d be very proud to know his Hi-Five still carries on giving supportive sentiments around the world.

Celebrate today by giving everyone you see a joyous Hi-Five of encouragement!

In other News…

lima_beans2It’s also Lima Bean Respect Day and I wasn’t going to say anything, but how can I ignore a lentil that just wants us to put some respek on its name.  (Warning the following video contains a tad bit of profanity, but it’s funny as hell.)

Onion’s Cousin

Today we celebrate a relative of the onion and the chive.  It’s Garlic Day!  This vegetable, known for its flavor and holistic healing powers is a compliment to most culinary delights.   Its medicinal super powers include fighting off colds and flu, lowering plaque build up in arteries, reducing cholesterol, fungal and yeast infections, blood pressure, and decreasing clot formation.

Now, not to bring up the darkness, but it must be mentioned that garlic also wards off evil spirits and vampires.  I’ve never tested this theory, but it can definitely put a damper on a good-night kiss.  You should find out who your true friends are and celebrate today with a Garlic-themed Potluck dinner. Will they bring a dish or just their appetite? Are they down for you or just your blood type? Eat well, be well, and…






21 Questions

Today we celebrate one of the professions that support our need to know.  It’s National Columnists Day!  Yeeeeaaaahhh!!!  While this profession will probably never fade away it has definitely made evolutions as times have changed.  From Dear Abby to Uncle Stevie, columnists are the perfect mix of facts, opinions, humor, and sometimes annoyance.   Unlike journalists who try to keep their opinions to themselves, columnists usually freely share their bias. More than just giving information, columnists give personality with their point of view. Whether you agree with them or not, it’s nice to feel you know the person behind the print.


Of course, Bloggers count!  

Not all blogs count…LOL…, but Bloggers are a new generation of columnists.  The jury is still out on Twitters.  I’m on the “No” side of the court.  If you disagree, let me know why in the comments.  I’m open for discussion.

And now a moment of recognition for my favorite, flawed, and fictional columnist, Carrie Bradshaw.  Celebrate today by reading a column or blog or at least watching one on T.V.  Ask questions and give opinionated answers based on facts.




Blah, Blah, Blah…

It’s Blah, Blah, Blah Day and even though it sounds like this is the day you get to ignore all the things people say to you that you don’t want to hear, it’s not. Today is the day to check off that “To Do” list one by one.  You know, the list that you keep rewriting, adding to, and changing.  That list that other people are nagging you to complete, that you plan on doing, just not at the moment.  It’s the “Honey Do List” or New Year’s Resolutions that you haven’t completed or started, as the case may be.

My Blah, Blah, Blah list consists of DIY projects at the houses of me, my mom, my sister, and my aunt, exercising daily (again), yard work, washing my hair and the dogs, and oh yeah, organizing everything.

What’s on your list?  If taxes should happen to fall on your list, I suggest you do that first. Blah, Blah, Blah and…