I’m in my stance, dressed appropriately, the gun goes off and I wake up.  It’s National Running Day and if you think I’m going for a run, you must be dreaming.  Bad knees, big boobs, bad back; I’m staying stationary.  Well, not stationary, but I won’t be high-kneeing it down the street.  I’ll stick to the aerobic bouncing exercise on my Total Gym.

If you are a runner or are inclined to start, celebrate today by lacing up and going for a jog.  Run with friends, animals, or strangers in a well lit, highly populated park.  Feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your skin. If it’s raining, you should probably run indoors.  Running water, the running man, and running your mouth don’t count for today’s holiday.  So, if you must, fake it and run in slow motion.  You can race with other slow motion runners.  Although you may not reap the same health benefits as actually running, you’ll have fun. Ready, set,