Thank Them Now

Thank them now, because you won’t be able to thank them when you need them.  It’s i-put-the-fun-in-funeral-tshirt-previewMorticians Day! Dealing with grieving, feuding, or indifferent family members isn’t easy, so today we take the time to thank the professionals, that give us our final spa treatment and comfort our loved ones.   Of course, this seems like a morbid profession and you don’t exactly think “fun times” when you imagine the person who’ll be embalming or burning you to ashes, so it must take a person with a special heart to serve in this capacity.

Many morticians feel like their profession is a calling.  Well, I guess if you have an affinity for helping people, this is definitely a time when people need understanding and empathy.  On the other hand, if you feel called by a deep need to play around with dead bodies and stuff them with weird crap, that’s a different kind of motivation.  Maybe you’re a people person, but not really, so you like to be around people, but you don’t want the conversation.  Whatever your motivation, it’s nice to have a well paying profession as a satisfying option.  Yes, Morticians can make bank!

Please don’t celebrate today by sending a Mortician flowers, something tells me that’s not he best gift.  Give a gift that reminds them of life.   Maybe tickets to a comedy show or a slasher flick.  If you’ve already purchased your plot and know where you’re going, you know exactly who to thank. If you’re not prepared, jut thank a random Mortician.  Live well and…




All I Need is Butter

I’ll need no persuading to celebrate today’s holiday.  It’s National Lobster Day and I’m going to celebrate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I love lobster.  I eat the entire thing; the tail, the claws, suck the mustard (yes, I know it is), clean the torso, and every bit of meat from every little leg.   Consider me the Bubba of lobster.  I like it.  I love it. And, I want some more of it.

  1. Steamed lobster.lobster-310902_1280
  2. Broiled lobster.
  3. Lobster ravioli.
  4. Lobster omelets.
  5. Lobster bisque.
  6. Lobster sandwiches.
  7. Fried lobster.
  8. Lobster and shrimp.
  9. Stuffed lobster.
  10. Lobster and crab.
  11. Lobster Newberg.
  12. Lobster rolls.
  13. Lobster Thermidor.
  14. Lobster salad.
  15. Lobster linguini.
  16. Lobster risotto.

I could go on and on, but you can find these recipes and more here.  Today celebrate by trying a new recipe.  If you don’t like lobster, I’m sure you were dropped on your head as a baby.  If you are allergic to shellfish, take today to ask God why He gave you the short end of the stick.  As for me, all I need is butter.  Yum, yum, and…


A – B – O My!

Do you know your blood type?  Or are you like me and feel comfortable enough knowing it is on file somewhere?  I may not know it now, but I will by the end of the day, okay, the week. It’s Blood Type Awareness Day and apparently, I need some awareness!

vampires-1846887_640We’re fairly certain you have blood.  Today is about knowing how it’s categorized.  It’s complicated, but it starts off simple. You’re either A, B, AB, or O, and a positive or negative Rh. From here it starts to get complicated.  There are antibodies, antigens, and a few more things, but the bottom line is it’s good to know your type.   Receiving incompatible blood can be deadly.  If you have a rare blood type, you may need to carry some around with you on ice or have it safely stored.   Through my research, I also found that knowing your type can give you information about your health, such as, your susceptibility to heart diseases, allergies, and your fertility rate!  Wow!

Be informed and helpful.  Find out your blood type by donating blood.  They’ll even give you juice and cookies.  If you have low iron like me or a fresh tattoo, you’ll have to get tested by your doctor.  He’ll test and tell you, but you may not get the juice and cookies. Once you know your type, celebrate by having a blood themed dinner party, red wine  (I recommend Voulet), blood sausages (I won’t be eating), a beet salad (Yum), and blood oranges for dessert (tasty).  Have fun, don’t seek your blood thirsty neighbor for advise, and…




Burnt Toast and Bad Pizza!

Today we celebrate cooks who have the intentions of champions but lack the skills to match.  It’s National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day and we salute the destroyers of all edible recipes.

If you love to cook, but friends always ask you to bring cups or ice to the party, today is your day.   If you have watched so much Food Network and Chopped Challenges that you think to yourself, “I can do that,” but in reality, you can’t boil water without starting a grease fire, we are talking about you.  If the best thing you can make is a sandwich, today you are granted permission to take 5 large paces away from the kitchen. Whether your issue is using too much salt, not enough salt, forgetting the butter, mismeasuring the oil, or forgetting you were cooking in the first place, the kitchen is not your best room. Everyone who has been a victim of your dinner table and potluck contributions applauds you and collectively requests you retire your apron.  You get an E for effort and a rest.

I suggest you celebrate by going out to eat, organizing your take-out menus, or getting to better acquainted with another room in the house.  The kitchen is not your area. You should never return unchaperoned and should you find yourself gazing longingly at a recipe, drop the magazine and phone a friend. We love you and we’re here to help.  If you are the friend of a Kitchen Klutz, you have a responsibility not to spare their feelings by giving vague responses of encouragement like, “mmmm, that’s a different approach,” when they say, “Try this!”  Today, you can gift them a Blue Apron box and accompany them step by step to their first delectable dish.  Be patient, be strong, and…



2’s company, 3’s a crowd, 4’s a …

I suspect that even though parents sob about becoming empty nesters and stress how much they will miss us when we’re gone, today’s holiday is their real nightmare.  It’s Crowded Nest Awareness Day!  This is when grown children return to the empty nest of their parent’s with their husbands, children, pets, and more.  They’re Baaaaaack!!!!

Crowded Nest Awareness Syndrome can also be felt the other way around. Make way for the in-laws and the Grands!  Although it can be hard to find a quiet peaceful place in a Full House (pun intended) some of the best T.V. shows were built around crowded homes and unexpected guests.

Celebrate today by inviting family members to move in with you, having the largest sleepover ever, or vegging out after work to a marathon of one or all of the following television shows, Full House, The Cosby Show, Just the 10 of Us, or Everybody Loves Raymond.  By the end, you’re either sure to appreciate your empty nest or feel so alone you welcome Crowded Nest Syndrome.  Get close and…



So Corny!

I like it grilled with butter and sprinkled with cheese.  It’s National Corn on the Cob Day!  Get the dental floss ready and dig in. From the stalk to the grill to the plate, it doesn’t get much simpler than that.  The best corn on the cob I’ve ever had was standing in line to cross back into California from TJ.  That experience change my corn on the cob outlook – CHEESE! Who knew?!  I suggest you celebrate by sealing your dentures tight and taking a bite.  It’s a nice day to grill, boil, or bake this sweet yellow treat.  Teach the youngin’s how to shuck corn, order some crabs and prepare a feast.  This is what I’ll be doing today!



Hasta luego, mula…hopefully

Of course, as April 15th rolls around we think of our taxes, but today we put on the black veil as we celebrate Mourn for Your Money Day! The year was 1943. Roosevelt was president and tax reform was the topic of discussion.  Usher in the Current Tax Payment Act of 1943.

Imagine you want to have your bathroom redone, but instead of getting a quote for the job and paying the amount owed, you hire a contractor, just give him fifty-thousand dollars and tell him to give you the change when the job is finished.  This seems like an odd way to do business, but this is exactly how we do business with the government. Throughout the year we have a pay-as-you-go relationship with our taxes and trust the IRS to give us the correct amount of change the following year.  Sometimes we even have to pay a little more.  Every couple of weeks, most of us say, “Hasta luego, mula” hoping to be reunited with a portion of it sometime the following year.  Today reflect on how that makes you feel.  Depending on your perspective, you can observe today a variety of ways.

  1. Think of all the wonderful things your tax dollars support.
  2. Mourn all the good deeds and luxury items you’d buy if you didn’t have to pay taxes.
  3. Give Mourn for Your Money Gifts and keep 40% of each gift for yourself.