Rezties…this is for you!

Today we are honoring the redhaired stepchild of your government identity.  The name seldom used in good graces, often shouted by your mother when you were being scolded, and usually only represented by a single withering, capital letter.  Today we celebrate the glorious middle name, for it is Middle Name Pride Day and shout this placeholder from the mountain tops we must!

Cleotha, Rezties, Mozene, we salute you!

Whether it’s a family name, actual last name or a generic Ann, today is the day to be proud someone thought enough of you to name you twice.  So what, they named you Charles Dartanyan, there is strength in those roots. Who cares if Rezties is not even pronounced the way it is spelled, it has a “z” in it.

Zewaun, Horace, Géza!  Embrace it!

And, if you’re blessed to have a middle name that is okay enough to replace the jacked up first name they gave you, congrats, you’re already making it useful!

James, David, Marcus!

For those whose parents got it right and didn’t name you Achilles, but had the foresight to give you beautiful alliteration or an exotic foreign name, that means darling in French, you probably already flaunt it, so flaunt on.

Finally, if you’re in the sad group with no middle name, it’s also National Blueberry Popover Day, you go celebrate that.

Holiday on my friends!

Panic! No, Get Over It!

I’m sure it was someone’s clever joke to have two opposite holidays celebrated on the same day.  I’ll save you the suspense and deal with them separately.  Choose the holiday that best fits your personality or choose both if your personality is split.  You can celebrate one in the morning and the other in the evening or really mess with people and alternate every hour.  It’s National Panic Day AND National Get Over It Day!  Here are my separate, but equally brilliant suggestions for recognizing these holidays.

National Panic Day!

You should definitely panic if you’re driving to work and find a T-Rex chasing you down in your side view mirror.   You have the rest of your life, no matter how long or short, ahead of you. If you’re reading this safely at your desk, in your bed or wherever, chances are you weren’t chased by a T-Rex this morning, so below are other reasons you should panic, just in case you don’t have enough failures, inequities, disappointments, and deadlines already.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after you get your next oil change.

Panic loudly, panic well!

National Get Over It Day!

If you’re in your car today and you happen to see a T-Rex trotting along dangerously close to your car, Get Over It!  It’s been a great life thus far, hopefully, and you can never outrun this thing.  And, if you’re on I95, I495, I295, I695, Route 32, I395, anywhere in the DMV metro area, Atlanta, GA, I5, I15, or Los Angeles, you’re in too much traffic to floor it.  Don’t die screaming, turn on your favorite song, say a prayer, and sing your heart out.  Below is a list of other things, you should get over because you probably can’t change them anyhow.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after your next oil change.

Do a naked rain dance in your front yard and get over it!

Holiday on my friends!

 

International Working Women’s Day

This woman looks like she is about to guide a large truck through a small area.  At least she is posed to look like she is doing some heavy lifting.  Her perfect manicure tells me her actual job may be posing and not the manual labor for which she is dressed.   Either way, she is working and that is what we are celebrating today.  It’s International Working Women’s Day!  

Celebrated since 1911 in support of better working conditions for women, this holiday is supported by the United Nations and celebrated in 28 countries around the world.  I don’t know if the best way to celebrate is to work or take the day off, but celebrate we must, so whatever your plans are for today, include a personal march with signs, balloons and mini cupcakes.  Have a wonderful day and Holiday on my friends!

Unique Name Day!

If you’ve ever been in class and saw this look on the teachers face before calling your name in the roll, congratulations, today is your day!  It’s Tuesday of Celebrate Your Name Week (CYNW) and we are celebrating the children of creative thinkers.

Is your name an awkward combination of both your parent’s names? Are you named after a fruit and a car?  Do you have a seemingly simple name with a few extra letters to prove a point? Does your name pay homage a distant relative, whose name was spelled in Olde English and so is yours?  Can you not type your name on a keyboard without reaching for the special characters?  If your answer is, yes, to any of these questions respond to this post with your UNIQUE NAME (and the phonetic pronunciation) because we want to celebrate you today!

It’s also National Crown Roast Day and National Cereal Day, so have a potluck and honor those whose names we say incorrectly.

Holiday on my friends!

Happy Dentist’s Day

I don’t know who grows up thinking, I’d like to spend every day looking into the mouths of multiple people with varying degrees of tooth decay and rotting gums, but it happens and today we celebrate those weirdos.  Happy Dentist’s Day!  For the record, I don’t think it’s fair that our skin repairs itself, our hair and nails grow continuously, and our bones can fuse themselves back together yet, we only get one chance at perfect teeth.  The first set will fall out, no matter how well you take care of them and the second set, unless you pay for new ones, will be your last set.  Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?

Anywho, today isn’t about your teeth, it’s about the doctors, yes they are doctors too, who tend to the needs of your mouth.  If you happen to have a dentist appointment today, take a card or balloon to show your appreciation.  If you don’t have an appointment you can google dentists in your area and give several a ring, just to say, “Happy Dentist’s Day.”  I’m certain that never happens and your kind gesture will be the water cooler talk of the day.

Holiday on my friends!

 

Celebrating You and You and You and…

It’s Multiple Personality Day!  Not to be confused with the clinical disorder renamed in 1994, Dissociative Identity Disorder, which we take seriously for those that suffer and combat daily, living with this disease.  NO, TODAY WE CELEBRATE THE MANY PERSONALITIES OF YOU.  The mild condition we all occupy from time to time that keeps others momentarily entertained, confused or searching for headache medicine, so they can continue a conversation with us without needing to invoke their right to an attorney.

This is our day to get to know ourselves on a deeper level. So, today, when you’re out and about if you notice a someone having deep conversations with a few people you don’t see, give them a hand clap and celebrate with them.  Have their people call your people and arrange a personality party.  It’s bound to be a good time, either now or a decade from now when you look back over your life.  So smile like you mean it and holiday on, my friends!

National Grammar Day!

Of all the holidays today, it was a must I recognize National Grammar Day.  This is, after all, a website dedicated to writers and readers.  You should really embrace this holiday by sitting in public, ear hustling the conversation of strangers and randomly correcting their grammar.  This is sure to bring amusement before it brings a fist fight and your Worldstar Hip Hop video debut.

Why the gorgeous picture of Nelly supporting his country in a well laid flag tank?  I’m glad you asked.   It is also National Hug a GI Day!  So, you should feel completely obligated to go up to random attractive GI’s and squeeze them tightly.  Tell them you just want to show your appreciation by hugging the body they risk, daily, to keep you safe.  Your hug may be reciprocated.  However, should you sense some resistance, I suggest loosening your embrace after 3 seconds, anything over 5 seconds has the potential to become very awkward and misunderstood.

Finally, it’s National Pound Cake Day.  Around since the 1700’s it has been a staple at potlucks and get-togethers, by the cheapest person in the room. I suggest celebrating this with ice cream, Netflix, and your new GI friend.  Have an amazing holiday!