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Holidays

Apples

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As you keep the doctor away munching on an apple today, remember the tree it came from and celebrate.  It’s Johnny Appleseed Day!  John Chapman, American folk hero and actual person was an Evangelist and trained nurseryman who planted apple tree nurseries as he traveled the states with his brother.  Traveling the states in the 1792 is relative, so his trees where mostly planted in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, West Virginia and even parts of Ontario. It’s possible his nurseries contributed to the variety of American apples available today.  Most of his trees, however, garnered small tart apples that were mostly picked to make cider, which is why after Prohibition, many of them were chopped down.

Johnny Appleseed was so devoted to his beliefs that he led a simple life, never married, and never had children.  Celebrate today according to your faith, your faith in cider.  Eat apple themed meals, like cider and apple pies or cider and pork chops, or cider.  Have friends and family over, dress like nomads, drink cider, and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!  

Today’s References: Wikipedia, Mentalfloss, Biography

Holidays

The 3 R’s

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If you can read this post, your e-mail or anything longer than your name you should probably thank a teacher.  It’s National Teacher’s Day!  Whether or not you enjoyed reading, writing, and arithmetic; did well, or flunked, a teacher put up with you, probably for less pay than they deserved and with more enthusiasm than you deserved.

If you went to grad school, college, or barely made it out of high school, there is a teacher who helped, whether they challenged you or passed you, so you could be someone else’s problem.  If you’re living above the poverty line with a seven-figure salary, you owe someone roses, probably your math, science, or English teacher.    If you’re living below the poverty line, but know how to flip that money 3 ways and feed a family of 8 on $20 a week, that’s math and home economics.  You’re welcome.  If you’re blue-collar and can MacGyver your way out of an oil change with tube socks and a glow stick, you’re a vocational prodigy.  Say, thank  you.

apple-158419_640If it isn’t obvious, you should celebrate today by thanking a teacher.  Call a favorite from your past or freak out a complete stranger.  The truth is there are more good teachers than not so good teachers.  Most dig in their own pockets to make learning fun and spend more time planning lessons than their life.   Whatever the subject, today is the day to honor those who went to school to school you.

On a side note, it’s nice to say, “The world is full of teachers” and then justify celebrating the person who showed you how to fart with your armpit.  Today isn’t about them.  It’s strictly for those with certifications, degrees, and student loans to prove their passion is helping you achieve yours.  Thank a teacher and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!

Thank you Ms. Smithers, Mrs. Brown, Mrs. McKinley, Ms. Sandy, Mrs. Lincoln, Ms. Vance, and all the others who challenged me whether I enjoyed it or not.

Holidays

Eat Your Heart Out!

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While this slice of apple pie and mound of whipped cream drizzled with caramel and topped with toasted nut shavings is making my mouth water and stomach growl a little, this is NOT the pie we are celebrating today.  As the obsessed math lover, scientists or engineer in your life can tell you it’s PI DAY!  

The really weird ones will have this entire number committed to memory.

pi-1338542_1280

For those who barely got promoted in math and science or had to resort to bribes, sympathy, and flattery for a passing grade, the Pi constant represents the ratio between the circumference of a circle to its diameter.

pie-1446373_1280How do you celebrate Pi Day?  For ideas, you should ask a former sad lonely person, who went through school with 2 friends, a social life that mostly consisted of hanging out at the Salvation Army and watching Seventh Heaven while curled up with a physics book on a Saturday night or my sister.    She generally resorts to wearing a t-shirt with the pi insignia on it, taking a pie to work, eating a round personal pizza for lunch, and gazing far too long at all things circular.

However, I have a few suggestions of my own.

  • If you’re not skittish about getting arrested, chased or into fights, you can make cream pies and pop random people in the face, while shouting, “It’s Pi Day!”
  • You can invite your 20 closest friends and associates over for a pizza pie eating contest.  The first to regurgitate loses.  (Please record and post on YouTube)
  • You can celebrate with like minded people by looking up phone numbers to businesses you think would care and yelling, “Happy Pi Day” when they answer the phone. Y’all cheer, then hang up.  If you then begin to have a conversation about the celebration, I’ll feel sad for you.

And now, a little pi humor – well, as humorous as pi can get. 

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

What is the official animal of Pi Day? The pi-thon.

The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”

For more math jokes visit www.ibtimes.com.

Holiday on my friends!