Tag Archives: celebrate today

Not a Slumdog!

Celebrate today like a B-O-S-S! It’s Be a Millionaire Day and why not?!  I already man-2290591_640know all the unnecessary stuff and extravagant services I’m going to buy!

Today only comes once a year.  You can celebrate today one of two ways: realistically or unrealistically.  Either way, I’m not responsible for the repercussions of your decisions, but I am accepting donations for my savvy advice.

horse-473093_640Take today to be responsible.  Examine your finances and rearrange your portfolio.  If you think this has something to do with your photo albums, take a step back.  Open up a bank account and get out of the check cashing line.  Snowball down your debt and invest in a mutual fund.  Step up your employment game and take those Pheonix classes you’ve been flirting with.  Write down the vision for your life and a plan to make it a reality.  Ask yourself, how will I make my first million?  Hopefully, it won’t involve a lawsuit and a compromised body part.  But, if it does, that’s your choice.  Pace yourself.  Today is day one of your first million.

“If you’re already a millionaire, inbox me for additional tips.” 

unicorn-2001372_640.pngBall-Till-You-Fall! You may not be Rick James, but you’re Rich, B#^$%! Rent a Tesla for the day! Eat out wherever you want and let the chips fall where they may. You may be homeless tomorrow, but today ain’t tomorrow.  Money is flowing like honey and you are BALLIN’!  Get your hair done, feet done, everything done. Take out a front page ad and have it printed in 24 inches, “First Class Everythang!”  Today only comes once a year and you better act a fool with it!

Whatever you do, remember tomorrow is Waiters and Waitresses Day!  You can just get a job and make that money back two-fold!!!

 

The Greatest Show on Earth!

As the curtain is closing on the Ringling Bros. & Barnum & Bailey Circus, we must celebrate Circus Day!  This holiday was established to celebrate the circus on their anniversary, May 19, 1884.  What an amazing run!

If you have coulrophobia or work for an animal rights organization, today may be exciting for you for completely different reasons.   To me, it’s the end of an era.  They aren’t the only act in town, but they are a hard one to follow.  You can watch their final curtain call live on Facebook at 7:00 pm est on Sunday.    Even though it’s a few day later, that’s probably the best way to celebrate today.

I would not suggest celebrating today by clowning around at work or practicing circus acts at home.  These actions may have unfavorable results.  However, it would be fun to invite a bunch of friends over and see how many of you can fit in a car (keep the emergency break on).  I have a Hyundai Sonata so, this could get interesting.  Squeeze in and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!  

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To Be or not to be Ratty

If you know exactly where that sweater is you were going to wear to that party last April 20th, but you can’t get to it, today may be your day.  If walking into your garage is like hiking in a dense forest, today is probably your day.  If your closet if as organized as a bargain bin at a Swap Meet, today is definitely your day.  It’s Pack Rat Day!

crooner-154618_1280My Confession:  I don’t consider myself a pack rat, but I am.  I’m the organized kind.  My place may not look like I save e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g (because I don’t really like clutter), but I save just about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!   That being said, I feel you shouldn’t be ashamed to be a Pack Rat, you just don’t want to look like a Pack Rat.  And for clarification, I do believe there is a difference between being a Pack Rat and a Hoarder. In addition to being a clinical certifiable condition, hoarders save items with no real value, neither monetary nor sentimental.  I have sympathy for hoarders because it is a real condition and is usually the result of a traumatic event.

Now, if you’re a Pack Rat.  We have to talk.  My philosophy is, “Be a Pack Rat or be messy, don’t be both.”  I collect shot glasses and keep everything even slightly sentimental. Honestly. I have a 5-foot piece of cardboard in my spare bedroom that was made into a welcome home sign by my girlfriend and her children that they held up for mpackratbookbage at the airport when I returned home from England in 2008. I have a book of drawings from my niece who is just turned 24, from when she was 8 and some of them are honestly, just a green line on a sheet of paper.  I have every textbook from every college course I took and enjoyed, a few of my own baby clothes, and a piece of junk mail with a random phone number jotted down in my father’s handwriting. What can I say, I’m very sentimental.

On a Pack Rat Scale of 1 to 10; 1 equaling you purge monthly, 10 equaling you should just buy a new house or invest in a Public Storage franchise,  where do you fall?   Whatever your number, you can celebrate today by upping your game and indulging in some Pack Ratty behavior, rolling around in your glorious Pack Ratty treasures, or purging!  I’m going for a combo.  Indulge and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!

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Purple Peace, Baby

And another reason why purple is so great, it’s Wear Purple for Peace Day!  There is something about this color that ushers in a nice calm atmosphere.  In addition to being the color of royalty, it also has its own peace day!  There can’t be a cooler color.

Think PEACE today.  All kinds of peace!  Peace from and argument.  Peace from frustration.  Peace from long meetings, aching knees, and the afternoon itis.  Peace like still waters.  Peace that surpasses all understanding.   Peace from annoying relatives and demanding mothers.  Peace from psychotic exes.  Peace from being too early or too late. Peace to alien invaders.  Peace just because.  Peace of strawberry shortcake – ahh well, can’t win them all. Purple peace and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS! 

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Black Blue Red Sad

There are two reasons few of us sign up for careers where we knowingly place our lives at risk on a daily basis (The “Paper Clip Incident of 1992” doesn’t count);   1) Few of us have the courage or desire to risk our lives and the stability of our families every day  2) The ratio of careers that risk your life to those that don’t is pretty unbalanced, so odds don’t favor that decision.  However, even though we may have decided a life-risking career path isn’t for us, we take advantage of the liberties protected by those careers every day.  today it is Police Officer’s Memorial Day and we honor those certain men and women in Blue who have fallen while honorably serving.

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I recognize that we are living in a time when relationships between the public and police officers are strained.  I also recognize the issues aren’t across the board with all officers, districts, or states.  For instance, a few of my cousin’s are great officers.

It’s sad to know there are areas and entire towns in this country, where citizen feel hunted rather than protected.  We must do better by being active in the elections of our local government officials.  All lives matter and so do all rights and liberties.   As we recognize Police officers this week, let’s keep in mind that most of us want to make it home safely every night.  So, before you raise your gun, whether blue or black, think of other ways to deescalate the situation and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!

I Blame Vicki!

The jury is in and it’s not your fault. It’s Blame Someone Else Day and no matter what the offense,  you’re in the clear. You may have been caught red handed, but it wasn’t your fault. I’m sure there was a dragon that forced your hand.  My personal motto is “Blame Vicki.” It’s usually her fault anyhow.  Take today, for example, why is my post so late?  All Vicki’s fault.

Now, you can’t be sensitive today.  Someone can blame you, too.  Take it all in stride and tell them, “that’s what you meant to do,” then give a very good fantabulous reason why. Practice your improv and deflection skills today.  It’s all in fun, so blame the person next to you and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!

P.S. – You can blame them for good stuff as well.

The 3 R’s

If you can read this post, your e-mail or anything longer than your name you should probably thank a teacher.  It’s National Teacher’s Day!  Whether or not you enjoyed reading, writing, and arithmetic; did well, or flunked, a teacher put up with you, probably for less pay than they deserved and with more enthusiasm than you deserved.

If you went to grad school, college, or barely made it out of high school, there is a teacher who helped, whether they challenged you or passed you, so you could be someone else’s problem.  If you’re living above the poverty line with a seven-figure salary, you owe someone roses, probably your math, science, or English teacher.    If you’re living below the poverty line, but know how to flip that money 3 ways and feed a family of 8 on $20 a week, that’s math and home economics.  You’re welcome.  If you’re blue-collar and can MacGyver your way out of an oil change with tube socks and a glow stick, you’re a vocational prodigy.  Say, thank  you.

apple-158419_640If it isn’t obvious, you should celebrate today by thanking a teacher.  Call a favorite from your past or freak out a complete stranger.  The truth is there are more good teachers than not so good teachers.  Most dig in their own pockets to make learning fun and spend more time planning lessons than their life.   Whatever the subject, today is the day to honor those who went to school to school you.

On a side note, it’s nice to say, “The world is full of teachers” and then justify celebrating the person who showed you how to fart with your armpit.  Today isn’t about them.  It’s strictly for those with certifications, degrees, and student loans to prove their passion is helping you achieve yours.  Thank a teacher and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!

Thank you Ms. Smithers, Mrs. Brown, Mrs. McKinley, Ms. Sandy, Mrs. Lincoln, Ms. Vance, and all the others who challenged me whether I enjoyed it or not.

Free the piggies

I’m not saying you should necessarily do anything special with your feet, but it’s No Socks Day and if that leads you to something wonderful, hooray!  All you have to do to celebrate is let those little piggies free.  Well, technically all you have to do to celebrate is let those little piggies free, for an added bonus you should make sure your piggies are free worthy.  Now, if you have a toe length abnormality, there isn’t much you can do about that, but if your abnormality is accompanied by dirty toenails, ash and enough foot-1575105_1280dead skin for a 6th toe, you should handle that before celebrating today.

Technically, today is only calling for you to release your toes from the bondage of socks, stockings, and tights.  You aren’t in violation if you are wearing sandals or shoes without socks.  Keep that last part in mind if your feet are gross.  If you have a foot fetish, the odds are in your favor today.  If feet totally wig you out, the odds are in your favor too, just not in a good way.  If you’re looking for ways to honor the feet that get you from A to B and the toes that keep you balanced, a massage or pedicure are in order.

An added bonus for the environment is that No Socks Day will lighten your laundry load and save about six droplets of water in your next wash.  Yeah, you’ve done a good deed for the week.  You’re such the philanthropist.  Have fun and…

HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!