Today we celebrate cooks who have the intentions of champions but lack the skills to match. It’s National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day and we salute the destroyers of all edible recipes.
If you love to cook, but friends always ask you to bring cups or ice to the party, today is your day. If you have watched so much Food Network and Chopped Challenges that you think to yourself, “I can do that,” but in reality, you can’t boil water without starting a grease fire, we are talking about you. If the best thing you can make is a sandwich, today you are granted permission to take 5 large paces away from the kitchen. Whether your issue is using too much salt, not enough salt, forgetting the butter, mismeasuring the oil, or forgetting you were cooking in the first place, the kitchen is not your best room. Everyone who has been a victim of your dinner table and potluck contributions applauds you and collectively requests you retire your apron. You get an E for effort and a rest.
I suggest you celebrate by going out to eat, organizing your take-out menus, or getting to better acquainted with another room in the house. The kitchen is not your area. You should never return unchaperoned and should you find yourself gazing longingly at a recipe, drop the magazine and phone a friend. We love you and we’re here to help. If you are the friend of a Kitchen Klutz, you have a responsibility not to spare their feelings by giving vague responses of encouragement like, “mmmm, that’s a different approach,” when they say, “Try this!” Today, you can gift them a Blue Apron box and accompany them step by step to their first delectable dish. Be patient, be strong, and…
HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!
All vegans and vegetarians, be warned. We are about to get vulgar! It is National Hamburger Day! One of the most American things you can put on your plate is a bun with a hunk of meat in the middle. Whether you want bison, venison, turkey, chicken, bean curd, or all-American beef, the patty is the essence of this delectable, juicy, staple meal! A flexible dish, to be gourmeted or trailer parked, you can top it with everything under the sun, even gold flakes (if you are willing to pay for it). Talk about the Midas Touch! Here is a list of some of the most expensive burgers I’ve ever seen. Which would you try?
Today, don’t just eat a burger! Celebrate by getting creative and down right stupid with those toppings. Have a burger smorgasbord party! Guests can bring a beverage (you know I mean alcoholic) and a topping, the host can supply the meat.
My ideal burger would be between a toasted sourdough bun. A patty made with the best piece of beef pre-seasoned wth salt, pepper, and jalapeno juice. It would be topped with grilled halloumi cheese, grilled pineapple, and warm applesauce that has been boiled with bacon. Also, piled on that juicy piece of meat would be grilled sweet pickles, butter lettuce, cold tomatoes, and an easy fried egg under a piece of melted brie, and finally, it would be sauced with a hint of Naptown crab sauce. Yummm, yummmm, yum. At least I think so.
Today, eat a good burger and watch Goodburger or Eddie Murphy Raw!
HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!
Just so I’m very clear, I’m referring to pork when I say it’s Pigs in a Blanket Day! Traditionally referring to sausages wrapped in pancakes, this culinary delight has evolved to include hot dogs, miniature wieners, and Italian Sausages wrapped in anything from a pancake to a bagel. I think it goes without saying that today should definitely be celebrated by eating an appetizing interpretation of swine in dough.
THERE ARE SO MANY RECIPES!! Chefs have really gone out of their way to make these staple freezer to stove to plate appetizers gourmet. For so many reasons, this guy is probably my favorite. Talk about authentic.
Evidence shows pork in pastries have been circulating the globe since the 1600’s. Be inspired and take your piglet to another culinary level. Here’s what I’m thinking of trying tonight: diced tomatoes encased in an Italian Sausage that is then wrapped in mozzarella cheeses before being placed in a flaky, puffed pastry casing. Eat creatively and …
HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!!
Today we celebrate a relative of the onion and the chive. It’s Garlic Day! This vegetable, known for its flavor and holistic healing powers is a compliment to most culinary delights. Its medicinal super powers include fighting off colds and flu, lowering plaque build up in arteries, reducing cholesterol, fungal and yeast infections, blood pressure, and decreasing clot formation.
Now, not to bring up the darkness, but it must be mentioned that garlic also wards off evil spirits and vampires. I’ve never tested this theory, but it can definitely put a damper on a good-night kiss. You should find out who your true friends are and celebrate today with a Garlic-themed Potluck dinner. Will they bring a dish or just their appetite? Are they down for you or just your blood type? Eat well, be well, and…
HOLIDAY ON MY FRIENDS!!
Hey! It’s Something on a Stick Day and I’m most certainly sure this holiday is only referring to food and not whatever is stuck up your neighbor’s backside.
I’ve attended my share of carnivals and fairs, and I’ve learned that almost anything can go on a stick. This is in no way my recommendation that you eat everything that comes on stick. However, I do suggest you celebrate today by trying something new on a stick. Again, only referring to food. I’ve been wanting to try deep fried twinkies. I think that will be my adventure for the day.
You may also choose to celebrate by hosting a dinner party featuring little meals on sticks. I found a few links on the internet with some very creative ideas. The clam bake on a stick is my favorite.
I thought of throwing an impromptu “Food on a Stick” dinner party this evening, then I thought ordering a pizza and putting the slices on skewers would be cheating. But, if you’re not a food on a stick Nazi, dinner is at 6 p.m. (bring a pizza).
Have fun and holiday on my friends!
A few links I found on the internet with some very creative ideas
BuzzFeed – 31 Foods On A Stick That Are Borderline Genius
All recipes – Food on s Stick Recipes
Brit+CO – 100 Things You Can Serve on a Stick
Good Morning! Today we celebrate Let’s Eat Right Day. I’m also choosing to celebrate the related food holidays of National Clam Chowder Day and National Chocolate Covered Nut Day. Not a contradiction if your soup is low-fat and your chocolate is dark. And, just in case the two previous February booze holidays didn’t encompass your beverage of choice, it’s Open That Bottle Day, too. What’s different about this beverage holiday? The husband and wife team that created it were very specific. This is not a day to get sloshed alone, this is a day to gather and fellowship with friends and family.
Have fun and holiday on my friends!