Tag Archives: holiday

Holidays

Dumbstruck Day

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If someone says something to you today that is so stupid, all you can think to do is gaze at them for a few minutes trying to imagine the miniature man inside their heads writing gobbilty-goop on a tiny chalkboard, that they promptly recited to you, don’t lose your cool by responding with the paragraph of profane language and sarcasm you’ve been itching to unleash.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.  They may be trying to help you celebrate today’s holiday Dumbstruck Day!

There is a possibility they aren’t as feeble-minded as you think.

Today, when you are stunned into silence, by the strange, shocking and unusual, pop out your tambourine and jig in celebration.  You’re sure to leave your audience dumbfounded! Thus creating a continuous loop of Dumbstruck Day homage.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

Eat Your Heart Out!

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While this slice of apple pie and mound of whipped cream drizzled with caramel and topped with toasted nut shavings is making my mouth water and stomach growl a little, this is NOT the pie we are celebrating today.  As the obsessed math lover, scientists or engineer in your life can tell you it’s PI DAY!  

The really weird ones will have this entire number committed to memory.

pi-1338542_1280

For those who barely got promoted in math and science or had to resort to bribes, sympathy, and flattery for a passing grade, the Pi constant represents the ratio between the circumference of a circle to its diameter.

pie-1446373_1280How do you celebrate Pi Day?  For ideas, you should ask a former sad lonely person, who went through school with 2 friends, a social life that mostly consisted of hanging out at the Salvation Army and watching Seventh Heaven while curled up with a physics book on a Saturday night or my sister.    She generally resorts to wearing a t-shirt with the pi insignia on it, taking a pie to work, eating a round personal pizza for lunch, and gazing far too long at all things circular.

However, I have a few suggestions of my own.

  • If you’re not skittish about getting arrested, chased or into fights, you can make cream pies and pop random people in the face, while shouting, “It’s Pi Day!”
  • You can invite your 20 closest friends and associates over for a pizza pie eating contest.  The first to regurgitate loses.  (Please record and post on YouTube)
  • You can celebrate with like minded people by looking up phone numbers to businesses you think would care and yelling, “Happy Pi Day” when they answer the phone. Y’all cheer, then hang up.  If you then begin to have a conversation about the celebration, I’ll feel sad for you.

And now, a little pi humor – well, as humorous as pi can get. 

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

What is the official animal of Pi Day? The pi-thon.

The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”

For more math jokes visit www.ibtimes.com.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

MUFF IT UP!

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As if Mother Nature planned it herself, it’s time to muff it up as we celebrate Ear Muff Day! Stella is on her way.

If you don’t believe in weather reports, take your chances anything is possible.

For the teachers and parents of school-aged children, who watch the weather report diligently, excited or fearing the possibility of school closings, grab your wine, Hennessy, and/or Valium and go in your padded room, unless that’s where you store your kids, and get ready to Netflix it for a few days.

Whether you’re a Stella believer or not, you can still celebrate today’s holiday, by rocking your muffs indoors and out.   They will keep your ears warm and muffle the sounds of your annoying co-workers.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

Earn a Badge Today

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On my honor, I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

I would like to say, that as a former Girl Scout, I didn’t have to look up Our Promise on the internet, but as the first Law of Girl Scouts is to be honest and fair, I cannot.  It’s Girl Scout Day and I’d like to celebrate by telling you how to earn a couple of badges while celebrating two other holidays.

rainbow flower

It’s Plant a Flower Day!  You can earn a badge by, TADA… planting flowers!  Celebrate Plant a Flower Day by picking up some seeds and putting them in a pot with dirt and water.  In a few weeks, you’ll be able to see the fruits of your labor.  These beautiful flowers will make a nice gift or beautiful decoration in your home.

It’s also Check Your Batteries Day!  You should earn a badge and celebrate this holiday by running around your house, finding everything that requires batteries and seeing if things still work.  Have fun turning switches on and off, flashing lights and mbatteriesaking random noises with various objects.  Remember to check important stuff like your backup wireless cell phone charger, car battery, and smoke alarms.  And, if you’re hours behind like I am today, check your alarm clocks!  You should know by now that while we were oversleeping the world sprang forward an hour.

Visit www.girlscouts.org for more and actually accurate information on Girls Scouts and their badges.  It’s been a long time, Buddies.  Do you think there should be a Girls Scouts After Dark Club? You know for the roses with a few thorns.  Okay, nevermind, it was just a thought.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

Tools, not him,…actual tools.

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Today is Worship of Tools Day.   I don’t mean the annoying, slightly sexiest guy in your office, which would be a crazy thing to celebrate, I mean actual tools; wrenches, hammers, drills, etcetera.  Really?  We need a day to celebrate tools?   I guess we do.

My personal opinion is that after International Working Women’s Day, someone (a guy) needed a little validation and decided it should be Worship Tools Day, to show off their collection and reiterate the relevance of the men, “handy” men, who fix things or who collect tools and pretend to fix things.  Personally, I’m not worshiping anything that doesn’t begin with a JE- and end with -SUS. And, these days, women own tools too (sticks out tongue).  So today, I will pull out my lavender and gray tool bag,  spread out my pastel tools, and reminisce about the many projects we’ve completed together.

On the other hand, I would like to take a minute of silence to honor the men, who have helped me along the way (silently counts to 60).  I have been fortunate enough to know some very handy men, who have taught me to use tools, all kinds of tools, shiny tools, big tools, little tools, even power tools.  Thank you!  Here’s a special shout out to the guys, who used their tools to help me by fixing my car, putting up my mailbox, completing my honey-do-list, and making my dreams come true. I truly appreciate you all!  Despite my sometimes sarcastic tongue, I greatly appreciate men, who can and will use their tools to do the things I can’t or don’t want to do.  You’ve helped me out in many situations and there is something pretty cool about a guy in overalls, using a power saw, with sparks flying everywhere, only protecting himself with tiny sunglasses.

In case you aren’t the handyman type of person, my sources tell me all tools can be celebrated today.  Do you grill, sew, sculpt mini villages in the privacy of your own home? Celebrate those tools too!

All tools matter.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

Rezties…this is for you!

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Today we are honoring the redhaired stepchild of your government identity.  The name seldom used in good graces, often shouted by your mother when you were being scolded, and usually only represented by a single withering, capital letter.  Today we celebrate the glorious middle name, for it is Middle Name Pride Day and shout this placeholder from the mountain tops we must!

Cleotha, Rezties, Mozene, we salute you!

Whether it’s a family name, actual last name or a generic Ann, today is the day to be proud someone thought enough of you to name you twice.  So what, they named you Charles Dartanyan, there is strength in those roots. Who cares if Rezties is not even pronounced the way it is spelled, it has a “z” in it.

Zewaun, Horace, Géza!  Embrace it!

And, if you’re blessed to have a middle name that is okay enough to replace the jacked up first name they gave you, congrats, you’re already making it useful!

James, David, Marcus!

For those whose parents got it right and didn’t name you Achilles, but had the foresight to give you beautiful alliteration or an exotic foreign name, that means darling in French, you probably already flaunt it, so flaunt on.

Finally, if you’re in the sad group with no middle name, it’s also National Blueberry Popover Day, you go celebrate that.

Holiday on my friends!

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Panic! No, Get Over It!

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I’m sure it was someone’s clever joke to have two opposite holidays celebrated on the same day.  I’ll save you the suspense and deal with them separately.  Choose the holiday that best fits your personality or choose both if your personality is split.  You can celebrate one in the morning and the other in the evening or really mess with people and alternate every hour.  It’s National Panic Day AND National Get Over It Day!  Here are my separate, but equally brilliant suggestions for recognizing these holidays.

National Panic Day!

You should definitely panic if you’re driving to work and find a T-Rex chasing you down in your side view mirror.   You have the rest of your life, no matter how long or short, ahead of you. If you’re reading this safely at your desk, in your bed or wherever, chances are you weren’t chased by a T-Rex this morning, so below are other reasons you should panic, just in case you don’t have enough failures, inequities, disappointments, and deadlines already.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after you get your next oil change.

Panic loudly, panic well!

National Get Over It Day!

If you’re in your car today and you happen to see a T-Rex trotting along dangerously close to your car, Get Over It!  It’s been a great life thus far, hopefully, and you can never outrun this thing.  And, if you’re on I95, I495, I295, I695, Route 32, I395, anywhere in the DMV metro area, Atlanta, GA, I5, I15, or Los Angeles, you’re in too much traffic to floor it.  Don’t die screaming, turn on your favorite song, say a prayer, and sing your heart out.  Below is a list of other things, you should get over because you probably can’t change them anyhow.

  1. You’ll never be younger than you are right now.
  2. Chances are the person you were just speaking with thinks you’re even dumber than you look.
  3. Your outfit doesn’t match.
  4. Life will never work out the way you plan.
  5. There’s a 75% chance you’ll get a flat tire after your next oil change.

Do a naked rain dance in your front yard and get over it!

Holiday on my friends!

 

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International Working Women’s Day

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This woman looks like she is about to guide a large truck through a small area.  At least she is posed to look like she is doing some heavy lifting.  Her perfect manicure tells me her actual job may be posing and not the manual labor for which she is dressed.   Either way, she is working and that is what we are celebrating today.  It’s International Working Women’s Day!  

Celebrated since 1911 in support of better working conditions for women, this holiday is supported by the United Nations and celebrated in 28 countries around the world.  I don’t know if the best way to celebrate is to work or take the day off, but celebrate we must, so whatever your plans are for today, include a personal march with signs, balloons and mini cupcakes.  Have a wonderful day and Holiday on my friends!

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Unique Name Day!

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If you’ve ever been in class and saw this look on the teachers face before calling your name in the roll, congratulations, today is your day!  It’s Tuesday of Celebrate Your Name Week (CYNW) and we are celebrating the children of creative thinkers.

Is your name an awkward combination of both your parent’s names? Are you named after a fruit and a car?  Do you have a seemingly simple name with a few extra letters to prove a point? Does your name pay homage a distant relative, whose name was spelled in Olde English and so is yours?  Can you not type your name on a keyboard without reaching for the special characters?  If your answer is, yes, to any of these questions respond to this post with your UNIQUE NAME (and the phonetic pronunciation) because we want to celebrate you today!

It’s also National Crown Roast Day and National Cereal Day, so have a potluck and honor those whose names we say incorrectly.

Holiday on my friends!

Holidays

Happy Dentist’s Day

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I don’t know who grows up thinking, I’d like to spend every day looking into the mouths of multiple people with varying degrees of tooth decay and rotting gums, but it happens and today we celebrate those weirdos.  Happy Dentist’s Day!  For the record, I don’t think it’s fair that our skin repairs itself, our hair and nails grow continuously, and our bones can fuse themselves back together yet, we only get one chance at perfect teeth.  The first set will fall out, no matter how well you take care of them and the second set, unless you pay for new ones, will be your last set.  Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?

Anywho, today isn’t about your teeth, it’s about the doctors, yes they are doctors too, who tend to the needs of your mouth.  If you happen to have a dentist appointment today, take a card or balloon to show your appreciation.  If you don’t have an appointment you can google dentists in your area and give several a ring, just to say, “Happy Dentist’s Day.”  I’m certain that never happens and your kind gesture will be the water cooler talk of the day.

Holiday on my friends!